Waterville, ME

So, first of all… we have had a birth in the family! Please help us welcome into the world Tapey. Our little ball of spike tape was born two days ago, and we anticipate watching him grow and develop over the next few months. Pictures are forthcoming.

Today was our first day off of the tour, so naturally we all got drunk last night (except for Briana).

We were in Foxboro MA yesterday, did two shows, and after a kick-ass lunch, we drove to Maine. (Laura says it was four hours; I think it was closer to five; felt like fifteen.) Passenger van conversation consisted of fart jokes and a discussion of Metaphysics. Briana learned another word for her college-bound vocabulary: Hot Carl. So far, we've added "cunnilingus", "frottage", and we taught her how to "toss a salad" and "play a rusty trombone". To be honest, I don't even know what half of this stuff is.

On route, we stopped to fill up with gas, and happened upon a creature at the pump next to ours; it was either Sasquatch, or the furriest mullet on the eastern seaboard. Tim managed to get close enough without disturbing it, and we managed to get a picture of the two of them. It’s a little blurry, so you make the call. Sasquatch, or Mullet?

So, after a long haul… we’re here in Waterville, ME! Not a whole hell of a lot to here, but we’re able to entertain ourselves just fine. We went for seafood last night at this place called the Weathervane, across from the motel. Drinks were watered down, but the food was fantastic. Patrick regaled us all with seafood trivia, including how soft-shelled crabs are prepared. Apparently, the soft-shelled crab is really just a blue crab that’s molting, so it’s shell isn’t hard, yet. And they way they prepare them is pretty brutal; they take a pair of scissors and cut off the crab’s FACE, then they tear off the top shell and then drop it into boiling water. So, children… if there’s anything you feel you need to complain about… just remember, it could be worse. Someone could happen by and cut off your face with scissors.

After dinner last night we got plastered / hammered / what-have-you in the Duece-One-Eight (T&P’s hotel room). All except Briana, of course, who’s being a very responsible 18-year-old. We couldn’t find karaoke, so we settled for Miller Lite in cans, music, and a few rounds of Asshole. I personally imbibed a record amount of beer (almost 2 bottles) in a record amount of time (2 hours). And about ¾ of the way through the evening, we got our FIRST NOISE COMPLAINT of the tour, yo! The management here at the Econolodge called and said our neighbors had complained. Can’t imagine what they were on about. We switched to Greg’s room, and then I petered out at about 1:30. Everyone else kept drinking and laughing. This is a really funny group of people; I don’t think I’ve laughed so much or so often since my Noah/Marc summer of 96.

Today was our day off. Not a damn thing we had to do, nowhere to be – glorious! Paul and Laura slept in, Greg switched rooms so we didn't know where he was; Tim, Briana, Patrick and I got up around 10 and went into 'downtown' Waterville. We saw the Waterville Opera House (which is actually really beautiful), and walked the main drag for shops. We found a thrift shop (not a thing), a flea market (Hughey Lewis poster shall remain in my heart forever), the world's most hideous sculpture, and a head shop where the owner/local dead-head/resident nut-job kept saying, "that'll be one dollar, plus five cents for Uncle Sam". Perma-stoned.

So, it's been an eventful few days.